The sun came out today and gave me the encouragement to go outside. That, and a friend’s suggestion to check out a park nearby that I’d never been to.

Being outside was what I needed. I felt the warmth of the sun on my face, finding its way through my jacket and hoodie. My feet found their way to the beach where I spent time taking film photos of whatever I fancied: abstract shapes from seaweed, rocks, tracks in the sand; cloud formations sitting atop the land across the Sound; or driftwood twists that look like limbs. I made sure to stop and enjoy that good feeling I was feeling. To make note of how it made me feel so I have the courage to go out again and experience Earth more and more.

Winter is not a great motivator for me.

The winter has not been great. I feel like a hermit and do not like being in the cold. I was sick for the first half of January and a brief snowstorm kept me indoors. I ventured out once and had to hurdle snow and slush piles. School has been slow because of sickness and snow, so I’m just out of my game and bored with myself. I’m hoping this photo is a tiny step toward feeling better.

So what would work? I looked back on when I was working full time, was reminded that I did really well when I was practicing yoga. Yoga was a time to calm the heck down, go inward, do ONE thing at a time, and just breathe. I found a place to go to, signed up for a few sessions and find myself in an amazingly centered state of being (well, as centered as I can get). The classes I’ve been going to are purposely for me to focus on myself and just be quiet. Yoga is a Yin that is very much needed for my very much Yang personality. In addition to the calm it brings to me mentally, I’ve also learned new stretches that help with the parts of my body that need attention because of the work that I do (photography works my shoulders, wrists, neck, and fingers). So, finding time to not only quiet my mind, but also breathe out tension in my body is very beneficial when I do it for an hour or more. I’ve made the decision that yoga needs to be a life practice. I will sign up for classes as I can afford and will practice at home as much as I can.

I’ve also remembered that I love watching movies with the director’s commentary on I put in Newsies by Kenny Ortega, a classic from my childhood with wonderful music, acting, singing, and dancing. In the behind the scenes footage, Mr. Ortega fostered a sense of family and provided ways that the actors (who were all young boys) could relate to the characters and the time period (1899). I listened to how much effort went into making that film from costumes, setting, dealing with 90-100 degree weather while dancing, and the challenges they faced like small time frames to complete scenes, etc. Yesterday, I watched a 4-hour documentary on Woody Allen and what went into making all those movies he’s made for the past 40 years. Hits or not, Mr. Allen cares more about making a movie he likes and wants to make and not movies he thinks others will like. What does it matter what other people think? He just wants to make movies.

So what does this have to do with me? Well, as I’ve found out, the yoga helps me center and give myself the time to be kind and patient with myself. The movies help me realize that creative projects, or art, are efforts. A whole lot of resources, collaboration, compromise, and limitations stood in the way before they could even get a glimpse of what they really envisioned. It reassures me that their creation didn’t just fall from the sky and look perfect. For me, it helps me be patient with myself if I don’t get the results I want with my photography. The most I can do is show up and do what I do. If I like it, I like it. And it shouldn’t matter what other people think. We are in a world where everything we do, for some reason, has to amount to making money or making a name for ourselves. That thought to me is completely overwhelming. The more I think about it, the more I wonder where I’m going, the more I get lost. I just need to concentrate and focus on the present and be there for myself. I won’t be able to nurture my soul if my attention strays in hundreds of directions all at once.

When in a new/unfamiliar space:

1. Details – What do you feel/see at the smallest level?
2. Depth and area – How deep and wide can you see?
3. Color – Are there themes in color? Do the colors around bring on a certain mood (temperature)?
4. Texture (More like design elements) – Are there strong lines, pattern, shapes.
5. Portrait – Are there people there?
6. Time – Is it busy or quiet? How could you show that?
7. What interests you?
8. Abstract – what do you see that maybe someone else doesn’t?

After my quarter in black-and-white photography, I’d like to add:

9. Luminosity – what is the light like? what is it doing to the subjects?
10. Exposure – What is important to you? what’s in the light or in the shadows, or both?
11. Be thoughtful – You can take 20 pictures of the same thing, OR you can take a deep breath, step back, and find the composition that feels good to you and THEN make an exposure.
12. Post-processing – It doesn’t just apply to digital photography. Do the best you can “out there” and when you get back to your computer/darkroom, work on shaping the vision you had when you were taking the photo, not just adjusting things to make it better. Create what you “saw”.

Maybe some of these ideas can help your work. Have fun shooting!

Bracing myself on a rail in 40 degree weather with mist coming up from the water falling. f11/'30. Canon AE-1. Darkroom work info: 2 variable contrast filters to add/lessen contrast in areas and bring out lost information from underexposure. I'm just learning, but I'm pretty happy with this print.

Before approaching this, I looked for inspiration. I dug through my journals, old photos, and personal paintings and drawings, and solidified the fact that I enjoy making collages. I’ve been making them throughout my life for me, for others, and I even wrote about how I want to put everything that means anything to me on one page. That was a huge sign.

I also looked at others artwork. Specifically, I happened upon a calendar we bought that is a collection of photomontages by Thomas Barbey. I was inspired by his surreal vision and the fact that he puts his images together through darkroom methods (stacking negatives, purposefully shooting with double-exposure in mind, etc.). It’s made me think about trying it out, but that’s for another day. I have also been looking at paintings by Edward Hopper and am intrigued by his ability to make people look alone in their thoughts or even isolated.

As to how this makes me feel… well, maybe it’s the weather and my personal challenge with this time of the year. I feel a little grey and the outside is literally grey. But creating things helps give me hope.

Hand Turkey loves homemade gingerbread lattes

In 2007, I was on a business trip in Washington DC and there happened to be an Ansel Adams and Annie Leibovitz exhibit at the Corcoran. If I only knew then what I know now about photography, I would not have gotten there only 2 hours before it closed. Looking back, it felt like only 45 minutes. I’m on the lookout for another exhibit of such greats so I can bask in the splendor of their work and be inspired to continue working toward and honing my vision.