Change is hard to get used to. I guess I didn’t realize how hard it would be for me, personally. So, professional advice brought up the fact that physical activity helps bring balance to my life. You know, like, exercise. Now, I can’t say I’ve run a 5K or even jogged around the block. My daily form of exercise is running to my car to move it before the 2hr limit is reached.
So what would work? I looked back on when I was working full time, was reminded that I did really well when I was practicing yoga. Yoga was a time to calm the heck down, go inward, do ONE thing at a time, and just breathe. I found a place to go to, signed up for a few sessions and find myself in an amazingly centered state of being (well, as centered as I can get). The classes I’ve been going to are purposely for me to focus on myself and just be quiet. Yoga is a Yin that is very much needed for my very much Yang personality. In addition to the calm it brings to me mentally, I’ve also learned new stretches that help with the parts of my body that need attention because of the work that I do (photography works my shoulders, wrists, neck, and fingers). So, finding time to not only quiet my mind, but also breathe out tension in my body is very beneficial when I do it for an hour or more. I’ve made the decision that yoga needs to be a life practice. I will sign up for classes as I can afford and will practice at home as much as I can.
I’ve also remembered that I love watching movies with the director’s commentary on 
I put in Newsies by Kenny Ortega, a classic from my childhood with wonderful music, acting, singing, and dancing. In the behind the scenes footage, Mr. Ortega fostered a sense of family and provided ways that the actors (who were all young boys) could relate to the characters and the time period (1899). I listened to how much effort went into making that film from costumes, setting, dealing with 90-100 degree weather while dancing, and the challenges they faced like small time frames to complete scenes, etc. Yesterday, I watched a 4-hour documentary on Woody Allen and what went into making all those movies he’s made for the past 40 years. Hits or not, Mr. Allen cares more about making a movie he likes and wants to make and not movies he thinks others will like. What does it matter what other people think? He just wants to make movies.
So what does this have to do with me? Well, as I’ve found out, the yoga helps me center and give myself the time to be kind and patient with myself. The movies help me realize that creative projects, or art, are efforts. A whole lot of resources, collaboration, compromise, and limitations stood in the way before they could even get a glimpse of what they really envisioned. It reassures me that their creation didn’t just fall from the sky and look perfect. For me, it helps me be patient with myself if I don’t get the results I want with my photography. The most I can do is show up and do what I do. If I like it, I like it. And it shouldn’t matter what other people think. We are in a world where everything we do, for some reason, has to amount to making money or making a name for ourselves. That thought to me is completely overwhelming. The more I think about it, the more I wonder where I’m going, the more I get lost. I just need to concentrate and focus on the present and be there for myself. I won’t be able to nurture my soul if my attention strays in hundreds of directions all at once.
